Communication

Obviously communication is very important, at the core it is pretty simplistic but people tend to have a hard time doing it. I have come across a couple of topics recently where people have either rejected communication to relay how they feel or lied instead of being honest. It kind of boggled my mind because when reading these situations the answer just seemed to be staring right back at me.

When it comes to me and relationships, outside of trust communication is absolutely key. The only way your partner is going to know something is wrong or how you feel about something is if we communicate with each other. I pretty much tell my boyfriend everything, whenever there is something wrong or if I feel down about something, he knows. Especially if it has anything to do with us, because I want this relationship to work and I don't want to problem sitting there waiting to explode later when the timer finally runs out.

One of the topics I came across was on a video where a guy goes on about giving relationship advice. It starts off mild, but what he starts talking about is giving his partner the silent treatment. We all know what this is, and we know what we want it to do, we want the person to recognize we're upset and to feel bad about it. We want want this to the point where the person will approach us and apologize. He goes to the point of ignoring this girls phone calls, obviously she realized he was upset but he continued to ignore her just to make her feel even worse. At that point it's just vindictive and bitterness, to me this comes from a person who is not ready or should not be doing relationships.

Clearly the best course of action would have to been to just explain to this girl how much she hurt you, and how it made you feel. From what I gathered she would have gladly communicated since she ended up calling to apologize. But that didn't happen and people just end up feeling even worse. Not to say that things would be fixed between them if he just explained how he felt, but all that time he was ignoring her all he was doing was hanging on to the anger he felt from whatever she did to him. When he could have simply talked to her a lot sooner to try to resolve the issues and he would have felt a lot less worse a lot sooner. This at least, is what I would have done.

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This next part about communicating has to do with lying in a situation where to me it makes no sense to lie.

Rejection sucks, no one likes to be rejected. People take it at a personal level and tend to think when being rejected there is something wrong with them, which is not in the least bit true. You can simply be rejected by someone because you're not their type, that says nothing wrong about you as a person, you're just not what the person desires. And being rejected for something superficial says something about the other party more than anything about you.

What I am trying to get at has nothing to really do with feeling rejected but the way people go about doing it. If I am at a club, a guy approaches me and I am just not feeling it, I'm going to tell him I'm not interested. I'm not going to waste my time any further because he for some reason isn't somebody I want.

What I don't get is that when people say they don't like rejecting people because it is 'mean', yet the same exact individuals will instead lie to reject to some one. There is a dis-connect here. People are not that stupid, none of us are as good as liars as we tend to think we are and these guys probably have heard the 'I'm already taken' excuses plenty of times before. Don't you think the person who realizes you're lying is going to feel worse? Isn't that meaner than just saying 'I'm not interested'?

I just don't understand what is so difficult in saying the latter. Not that I condone it or am suggesting it, but let's say you were mean to the guy. You don't know this guy and by rejecting him you're most likely not going to be seeing him again, so what do you care that he might perceive the way you're rejecting him as mean?

I could go on about many more social situations where I think basic communication is simpler but people decide to take the more complicated road. I hope this blog doesn't come off as too much of a rant, but I sometimes really wonder why people do some of the things they do.